Music
Discover individual stories behind each song.
It is music made primarily for listening on headphones with good spatial imaging.
You likely won’t get much out of it on phone speakers ;)
It’s not what you think it is
2025
It’s not what you think it is
2025
It’s not what you think it is
I believed something with fierce ambition because it made sense from every possible angle I could think of. It has been trialed in practice, I’ve seen it in the lives of others, I read about it, and I based decisions on it. Then, suddenly, I encounter an anomaly. Something that so clearly crontradicts what I held the firm conviction to be true, and I start to wonder. Quite litterally like pouring a glass of fresh drinking water from a power outlet.
How can I have missed this? My belief up until this point was thorough. It resonated with my experience, and I had not the slightest doubt about it. How can it be, that something that felt as close to an objective truth, as a belief possibly could, be dismantled in its essence, and I never saw it coming, despite desperately hoping for this conundrum to be displayed? I cannot help but to wonder whether there lay meaning in the drought of shroudedness, or if I could have known all along but was blinded by ignorance.
Be it as it may, being humbled by surperior knowledge in this way feels … well … humiliating, but utterly productive.
The song illustrates the moment of having a world turned upside down, with a positive notion in this case.
The Perfect Price of Love
2025
The Perfect Price of Love
“If you are such a powerful God, why is there so much brokenness in this world?”
God wants his people to choose him back. What joy could he have in our decision, if we didn’t have the full free choice not to? Assuming humans have had this choice for as long as they existed, the world of today is a result of millenia-old compound decisions against God. Is it really that surprising to find brokenness everywhere? If this assumption is true, God only stuck by his word. Why blame him?
It seems cruel to assume that someone born today is immediately submerged into a generational sludge. Unless one considers the truth offered by God to every single person: We may choose to see him instead, accept that despite all horrors we may encounter in this world, he is good, and accept the love he has offered through Jesus. In doing so, the darkness of this world will no longer have any power over us. But it remains a choice. Never will he force us to see him. The choices against him are appealing and plenty. But they are not good.
A song to display the gravity of decision.
Siópa Pefímoso
2025
Siópa Pefímoso
2025
Siópa Pefímoso
Imagine you’re on a boat. A tiny boat. It’s just barely big enough to carry your few friends and yourself. You’re out on a trip back from an exhausting day, minding your own business, and suddenly, while you are half way where you want to be, you see this tower of clouds approaching. It catches up on you, and before you know it, you’re about to die. Your tiny nutshell of a boat is failing, and you know, because, as a sailor, you have seen the sea’s relentless wrath many times before, you’re done for, and so is everyone that is with you. The suffocation that inevitably awaits you has been one of your life’s worst nightmares.
Then this guy from the back stands up, scolds you for being afraid, speaks a single line of words, and the only thing you are left to listen to, is the gentle dripping of droplets coming down from the sail above you that was about to be torn to shreds. The sun shines in your face. What would be running through your mind?
Siópa Pefímoso.
“Silence! Be still.”
Beyond Storms
2025
Beyond Storms
How I wish that once I found my steady source of hope, the storms of life would cease to affect me. But the reality is, for as long as I live, there will be another flurry of bitter darkness around the corner, aiming to bring me to my knees, wherever I go. I have only to look at it, and it will submerge me in its wake.
I have a choice. A choice to love, instead of fear. To mend instead of maim. It depends on one thing alone. My focus. Is it set on the abyss below, or the single unbreakable string that keeps me afloat?
Hope.
A hope Beyond Storms.
Tetelestai
2024
Tetelestai
2024
Tetelestai
I didn’t see a way out of the misery I got myself into. Not just because it seemed futile to continue whatever it was that I was doing, but because I knew, that by the standards I held sacred, I deserved every bit of it. I screwed up, and I was ready to surrender. These standards however were … screwed up themselves. They were towering over me like a medieval teacher about to beat the crap out of a child, and there is nothing good about that. I came to realize, it was never meant this way. What I believed in, was the foolish echo of misguided fake saints.
In a profound moment of clarity, the meaning of divine grace became evident to me, and it is as simple as a single word. Tetelestai. It is finished.
In a single moment on the cross, any guilt I could ever amass on my head, has been vanquished once and for all. It will never have to be done again. Neither for me nor for anyone else. I can accept this, and submit to it, and I am free. It is not something I have to ask for to happen in the future eventually, maybe. It is finished.
Bittersweet Freedom
2024
Bittersweet Freedom
In the aftermath of having lost my all faith once more, the silence of peace through forgiveness revealed the scars of war that remained within me like the craters of bomb shells on a foggy morning after a night of artillery rain. Things I wished to never have happend etched in my memory for a lifetime to remember. Things I did, things I said, things that were done to me, and things I simply witnessed.
It has forever altered the taste of freedom to me. It no longer tastes like the fresh Orange juice I used to be handed as a kid after playtime. More like a well ripened wine, one I could have never imagined as a kid to end up liking. Bitter, and yet sweet. Tart, rich of scents and complex, even hard to describe. To me now, a wholy pleasant experience, once I remember … darkness has lost. I am, indeed, free.
Was it Worth it
2024
Was it Worth it
2024
Was it Worth it
There was a time when life demanded of me to make a decision unlike any decision I have had to make before. Probing at the core of my being. Will I sell my soul for vanity, pleasure, and comfort, or do I choose to protect what God has left in my care to manage, and refuse, at the cost of every security I have known until then? I wish I could say the choice was easy, but I would be a lying fool. I did choose integrity eventually, and I suffered the consequences, but boy was it a fight to stand my ground.
Was it worth to dare the fight despite knowing what horrors would surely await me?
Every last bit.
Immortal Serenity
2024
Immortal Serenity
Picture walking out your door. The spring sun is shining in your face, a gentle breeze brushes your hair. You turn a corner, walk along a tree bordered avenue, and as you enter a trail into the forest, you notice birds that are singing their songs along your way. The sun rays trace through the young green leaves above you, and leave a warm shimmer in the little lake you are approaching. A smell of blooming flowers, grass, and wet soil from the rain a few hours back lies in the air. You notice a fish that jumped out of the water, leaving a happy splash that sends the sun’s shimmer dancing under the cannopy like stars.
For a moment, just this moment at least, you know what goodness surrounds you.
You may remember it at will.
Step by Step
2023
Step by Step
2023
Step by Step
Like the first steps taken after having been hospitalized for weeks, completely having to relearn how to do the simplest of tasks on your own two feet, is what it felt like to arrive back in my own head after a year long nightmare. Things as simple as feeding myself felt like a victory worthy of a song. Regaining the most basic capabilities like successfully attaining a job felt like having battled the nation’s greatest warrior. I could never have done it alone. I know whom I owe it to to be able to tell this tale. I am not just thinking about God, but the people who understood what was needed. They were, to me in the moment, vessels of eternal goodness, and my gratitude for having them by my side is accordingly powerful.
Ruins of a Perished Dream
2023
Ruins of a Perished Dream
… a dream of what could have been. A dream of empty promises, hollow values, and the twinkeling glory of a manmade ideal life.
To whom it concerns, they know what I speak of. For the sake of love beyond the grave, I will spare any further details. The one thing that remains: Now and Forever.
Gaia
2023
Gaia
2023
Gaia
One of the few times I will chose to be specific…
I wrote this song while writing my first Bachelor’s thesis. I published the song right about when I handed it in. The circumstances under which I worked on both, the thesis and this track, were … strange. Stranded, alone, no real purpose but to move forward somehow …
Handing in the thesis as well as publishing this song felt like the same thing: Pure Victory.
Vanta Black
2022
Vanta Black
Childlike curiosity, even if as innocent as the thought can be, is no guarantee for safety, on the contrary, as commonly known, the unsupervised child will end up hurting itself, even lethally, if circumstances allow it. Why is it though, that some children can be warned a dozen times, and they will still chose to probe the power outlet with a screwdriver, despite having kognitively acknowledged the warning? It is as if it had no effect on their heart, or maybe, worse, an instance within them is louder than the warning. The last remaining teacher to some: First hand pain.
Pain resulting so often in screams of bitter resentment, blind rage, and fist-shaking at the sky. Why has this happened? Why me? Could you not have prevented it you “almighty God”?
Yet there are other children who only hear the warning once, and obey. The trick is, what voice to listen to? Not every voice seeks goodness. In fact, many claim to, but do not. Blind obedience can be just as potent of a pitfall as ignorance. The compound result of misguided voices, as I see it, is a tangible misery in this world that cannot be escaped.
A song of pain. A friendly reminder of what I definitely do not want to cherish, but have to make amends with existing. For now …
Why bother writing about a song it you may ask? Simple: So I can put a name to it. God takes care of the rest …
Nebula 1337
2021
Nebula 1337
2021
Nebula 1337
A song about temporary bliss.
Enjoying the moment, allowing the mind to wander around outer space for a little while.
Very necessary and good … in doses.
Overdone, however, it conceals a horrible price: The disconnection of one’s own reality. Trading in the dream of what could be for the beauty of presence. More often than not, the dream is more appealing than reality for a reason. I had to find a way back, before I would surely lose myself in outer space, never to come back. My answer: Finding a way to manifest my dream. Turned out not quite as exquisite as imagined. But at least it is real.
Event Horizon
2021
Event Horizon
Through the eyes of a curious child, the simplest things are a source of boundless wonder. The first big splash of a rock thrown in a lake. Being allowed to light a firework for the first time. Reaching the first summit of a mountain, pressing a car’s gas pedal for the first time, earning a first paycheck … love.
Curiosity … I find few things more adorable to witness, and very few things more enjoyable to feel myself.
… if it weren’t for the moments of grief I feel over having found out through unyielding curiosity, how dark life can be. It makes me wish for a world, where anything you seek to discover will certainly be nothing but good. I would never stop exploring. I still explore anyway. A lot. But with a carefullness about it I wish that wasn’t necessary.